FILE UNDER: things weak men do
and a raccoon who has never once been the problem
Welcome to the nah brah news dump! Where I let you know what’s going on in the world in case you missed it. And honestly, hopefully you did, because then that means you’re out there living your life.
FILE UNDER: “things weak men do when they’re scared”
Commit election fraud and call it election integrity: Trump gave a rambling, mainly incoherent speech (shocking!) about “election integrity” in which he lied, again, about how the 2020 election was stolen. But instead of getting angry about that, I want you to take solace in it, because it was nothing more than an act of desperation. Outside of his gerrymandering successes, which have been admittedly notable, Trump has been unable to fix the upcoming election to his liking (aka commit election fraud). His multiple attempts to overhaul elections, including passing the SAVE America Act and his toothless executive orders, have largely failed. So, his latest antics—aka this “speech”—were just another attempt to get everyone all riled up to employ the triedest and truest tactic of voter suppression: convince the people their vote doesn’t matter. From the Atlantic:
Trump spoke now not only to distract from his sputtering Iran war and its effects on the economy, but also because his attempts to concretely interfere with the 2026 election thus far have almost all failed. As his opportunities to change the rules of the game before November slip away from him, the president is falling back on one of the few tools he has left: attempting to sow chaos and doubt among Americans.
Bite the hand that feeds them (and the entire state): Janky Jeff has consistently thrown New Orleans under the bus ever since he became
Governoran elected Louisiana official back in 2010, but it has really amped up in the last few months. We saw all the bullshit he pulled during Session (taking away multiple elected positions, vetoing $33 Million in New Orleans line items in the budget, etc.) but now he’s just talking shit. Saying New Orleans treats the state as an ATM (lol, New Orleans is the biggest economic engine for the entire state) and saying there’s nothing special about the only entire city placed on the “Irreplaceable America” list put together by the World Monument Fund. BUT AGAIN, it’s just because he’s scared. He’s playing to the nearly half of his fractured base that voted against Julia Letlow (and him) in the latest Republican Senate runoff, which means he doesn’t have the votes he needs to head off a challenger in next year’s governor’s race. His v sophisticated electoral strategy is to convince his base that he’s cool by saying New Orleans isn’t cool. Laughable, Jank. Greenland doesn’t even want your ass.Intimidation, part 1. Louisiana Attorney General Liz Murrill (Liz here counts as a weak man) was indicted on 16 felony counts by an Orleans Parish Grand Jury, which included eight counts of public intimidation and eight counts of malfeasance in office aimed at Orleans officials who were pissed when Janky Jeff started fucking with our shit.
Murrill’s charges stem from letters she sent to Williams, Moreno and five New Orleans City Council members, all Democrats, in May warning they could be removed from office if they pursued a special election for a newly combined clerk of court office in Orleans Parish.
At the time, elected officials in New Orleans were upset that Gov. Jeff Landry and the Republican-controlled Louisiana Legislature had consolidated Orleans’ two elected court clerk offices into one position and blocked Calvin Duncan, a formerly incarcerated man who was exonerated and had won election to one of the jobs, from taking office.
Honestly, this whole indictment is messy af and I’m betting it’s going to get dropped, but it’s just another illustration of things ppl in power will do when they’re scared. Like send cunty little letters.
Intimidation, part 2. If cunty little letters don’t work, there’s always cunty little deployments. Trump’s deployment of the National Guard in DC, which started last August to “rescue” the city from “crime, bloodshed, bedlam and squalor and worse,” has now grown from 3000 to 5000 troops just in the last month. From the Atlantic:
Ever since the National Guard arrived in D.C., troops have been criticized for seeming to spend a lot of time just standing around. Just standing around can be a component of law enforcement—being a visible presence on the street is one way to deter opportunistic crime—but it also generates unease. Jeffrey Butts, the director of the Research and Evaluation Center at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, told me that the fear this deployment has created is likely part of the point. “This is not about crime, and it’s not about policing,” he argued. “It’s politics and demonstrations of state power.”
Ladies, I think we all know that anyone who insists they have a big state power is overcompensating for a small dic
tator tots are really good.
Disappear people. Immigration arrests have increased once again in Louisiana and across the country. Apparently, the White House told ICE officials that 2,000 arrests a day was the new enforcement standard. From Verite News:
In the last five days of June, 10,000 people were detained nationwide, according to documents reviewed by the New York Times. Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin has pursued a decidedly low-key approach to immigration enforcement compared to former DHS secretary Kristi Noem — known for splashy videos and slick photo ops in front of caged prisoners that earned her the nickname “ICE Barbie.” Unión Migrante says the lack of public attention has been making it difficult to track and verify reports.
Nothing screams strong administration like one that disappears people on the down low.
Refuse to admit they’re dead. You cannot convince me this photo is real.
FILE UNDER: “things weak men do when they’re no longer scared”
U.S. Sen. Bill Cassidy used a confirmation hearing Wednesday to indirectly blast the anti-vaccination policies of Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., which he said have resulted in a series of infectious disease outbreaks and caused the deaths of untold numbers of children.
“We need a CDC director that will actually stand up to crazy, stupid things being said that undermine faith in immunization,” Cassidy said to Erica Schwartz, 54, Trump’s third nominee to be director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention at her Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions confirmation hearing.
Alternatively, file it under “too little too late.”
FILE UNDER: “inspirational”
All dic(tator) jokes aside, I know this all feels a little heavy. This world is an absolute dumpster fire. These men are absolute shit. But. Also. This is the world of Jimothy, the raccoon with a spinal condition who has won our hearts.
The thing about Jimothy is that when you see Jimothy, you immediately understand that the bizarre creature, both cute and just a little bit freaky looking, could not be called anything else.
“Ah, yes,” you say to yourself, nodding. “That is a Jimothy.”
Dr. Logsdon said it was “surprising” to see an animal with this condition appearing to thrive in the wild. It “seems to be in reasonable body condition and he seems to be moving very well and seems to have adapted quite well to what’s going on,” she said. — The New York Times
And this is also the world of Lamine Yamal, the World Cup champ who wrapped himself in gratitude instead of toxic masculinity. While all these other clowns were running around beating each other up over a game, he got on his knees and gave thanks. Victorious in so many ways.
This is the world I claim. Jimothy and Lamine are our true representatives and we are the bizarre creatures of this world.
We will never cease to thrive and we will never lose faith.
